Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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