I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
