I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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