That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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