Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Houston, we have a squirter
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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