i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize