Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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