I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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