So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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