Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
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Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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