Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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