Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
