the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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