How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
