Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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