i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
