so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize