Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
