just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
