i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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