What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
