yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
