Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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