she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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