Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
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Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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