And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize