Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
