The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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