When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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