i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize