Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
