Betty ford says i'm here all night
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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