i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
