Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
