So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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