If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
