Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
