woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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