I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
