My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
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Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
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