so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
