Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
