You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
