I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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