I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
