hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
