I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
