Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
