your room smells of hookers.
And success
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I smell like Dick and happiness
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