In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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