just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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