Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
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I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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