I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
