is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
