We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
