Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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