Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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