My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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