I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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